WHERE AM I
At the beginning of the year I had a seed of an idea for a self portrait image pop into my head. I’d been feeling quite low in myself after several stressfull and deeply emotional years I’ve put on a lot of weight and my self esteem at an all time low. This idea was to show how I’ve lost myself. My idea was wrap myself totally in cling film, to signify no matter how I tried my sadness and my weight still escapes my cheerful front.
I told my close friend Sam about my self portrait idea and she thought it was a wonderful and empowering thing to do.
So armed with a jumbo roll of cling film and my friend Sam, my idea came into fruition. Now for me the hardest thing was stripping off in front of someone, feeling exposed and vulnerable was something I had to push through. After Sam telling me ” not to worry I’ve seen baps before” and making me laugh we began to wrap the cling film around my body,”didn’t take as long as I thought!
After the shoot I felt relieved and happy, to of shared this moment with someone so caring and understanding.
After a tweak in Lightroom I sent the image to the local printers. A couple of days later I had a message to tell me my print was ready! OMG I’d forgotten that I had to pick the print up. Sam suggested that I go in to pick it up with a roll of cling film under my arm. So I went to pick up my print and was extremely nervous entering the building. The guy came out of the office and asked for my name and went to bring my print. Relief swept through me,it was in an envelope, then Panic he asked if I wanted to look at it, now I know he’s already seen the image but it’s a whole new ball game to stand next to a stranger and look at an image of myself naked and wrapped in cling film! Well he was fantastic and commented that he thought it was really powerful portrait full of emotion, great I thought, then he said must of taken a lot of cling film to which I laughed and called him a cheeky sod.
The next leg of my journey was going to Brixton to hand in my print this was pretty straight forward with a pleasant journey and an exhilarating feeling after leaving the building.
The wait for the winners announcement was only a week, although I would of loved to of won the £15000 first prize as it would of allowed me to quit my job for a year and really throw myself into getting my photography business of the ground, I didn’t win, but The Taylor Wessing Portrait Prize was a positive experience, it has has taught me I have a good friends who believe in me and that I can accomplish anything, I just need to believe in myself.